Fear

Now that you have identified your goals and have given them deadlines, you are ready to move forward.

Here’s what you shouldn’t do……….

DO NOT get back in your head
DO NOT say you can not do this now
DO NOT stop the momentum you have started

You are doing it. This is the process. Every step will not show results but the culmination of steps will help you realize your goals. Believe it or not, some people fear success almost as much as they fear failure. The difference is those that have the courage to try.

This week we will explore fear. Stanlee Cox, M.A., has a wonderful way to look at fear. She says, “Fear and Excitement feel exactly the same in our body ... it's just what we decide about it that makes it one or the other.” If you stop and think about it for a moment, she’s right. Think about how you feel on a roller coaster. The excitement of being thrown and flipped around but you’re kinda scared too. Your heart is racing with anticipation, your eyes get big before the first gyration while you catch your breath in anticipation of the next one and all the while praying that you don’t fall out. Fun huh? Same is true when you face that spider or mouse that scares you. Your heart beats hard and fast and you feel anxious! See a pattern. Perhaps the anxiety you sometimes feel is fear….no, excitement! Well let’s explore.

There are a couple of techniques for overcoming fear such as systematic desensitization which is based on classical conditioning and treats fears through deep muscle relaxation and then gradually confronting a progressively increased series of anxiety producing situations. Flooding is another techniques where you’re dropped into the proverbial deep end of the pool. Similar to learn by fire except with things you fear. You know, fear factor without the million dollars. But that’s just psycho mumbo jumbo. How we tend to react to fear is by shutting down or sleeping a lot, procrastination, or just plain avoidance. WE don’t want to do that so gradually we are going to face our goals and keep moving.

MONDAY - Look at your easiest goal form last week’s list. If the date is a one week goal then it’s already perfect – use that one. If not, find one with the shortest end time and use that one for this week’s conversation. What will it take to get this done? Use colored pens or markers and do a little mind mapping. (see sample to the right) Have fun with it and jot down everything you need to complete this goal/task. Do not sensor! Just write it down. That’s it for Monday. If you’d like to get a jump on Tuesday, start doing one or two of the things on your mind mapping.

TUESDAY – Today, in addition to finishing at least two items on your mind map be sure to assign a day to your mind mapping so that each task is spread out through the week. Easy day huh? Sometimes you just gotta float some of those in.

WEDNESDAY – Remember your tasks for today. In addition, look at your goal list and do the same mind mapping for the entire list. Again, make it fun; colored pens, pictures, and stickers, whatever you wish to make it yours. Keep this in mind; break each time frame into 5 blocks. For example, goals that are one year, give every two months an equal amount of tasks toward that goal. This will give you a little wiggle room. Always remember your treat list. Float in some treats along the way. Some goals will overlap but be sure to be specific and roll over those things that don’t quite get done. This will happen but let it be the exception, not the rule.

THURSDAY – How are you doing on this week’s tasks? Moving along? Hitting some snags? Right now, wherever you are, think about this week’s goal. Read this, then do it………..close your eyes and picture yourself achieving your goal. How do you feel? Hear yourself say out loud, I achieved/finished/am/did fill in the blank. Now that you are relaxed and have seen yourself get closer to finishing your goal for the week, it’s time to create your reminders. You’ve broken your goals down into pieces and what you must do each day/week/month/year. Go and put them all in your calendar. Sit down with a cup of tea and put your goals into whatever system you use either electronic or paper. If electronic, you can have things bleep and ding to remind you of each day’s activities. Treat – Treat – Treat! Calendaring is tedious so do something fun when you’ve finished.

BIG SMILE !

FRIDAY – Well, you’ve had a very successful week! You’ve completed one goal and organized and assigned the rest of the goals we discovered last week. CONGRATULATIONS! Full speed ahead. Can you see the movement, the progress? Remember that sometimes it is slow and other times, with bigger goals, it will feel like fireworks! So…..for all your hard work, today is TREAT DAY! Be good to you today. You’ve done excellent work. Enjoy the rest of your day and have a great weekend.

Quote of the Week - “Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.” Ambrose Redmoon

Reference: Stanlee Cox M.A. http://www.lifeempoweringtherapy.com/