What Are You Saying To Yourself ?

Positive self talk is a very powerful tool. What we say to ourselves, we believe whether we realize it or not. Low self esteem can be crippling but the self talk we tell ourselves every day can help move us past the negative and destructive place of low self esteem to a confident and focused self image.

Some examples of common negative messages that people repeat over and over to themselves include: I'm so fat, I'm so stupid, I can't do that, I never do anything right, No one would ever like me, I am a klutz. Most people believe these messages, no matter how untrue or unreal they are. They become automatic responses both internally and vocally; for instance if you get a wrong answer you think. I am so stupid. Your comments are usually followed by the shoulda, woulda, coulda's. The messages tend to reflect the worst in everything, especially you, and they are hard to turn off or unlearn. There was a line in Pretty Woman when Julia Robert's character says, it's so much easier to believe the bad stuff. This is very true unfortunately. These messages began as children and like the repetition of tasks can create a habit so can the repetition of negative words. In psychology this is called classical conditioning, like Pavlov's dog.

Also consider what we surround ourselves with. Television and radio programs can subliminally interject negative thoughts, anger, and additional stress. Are most of your favorite television programs drama or reality shows? How about the court shows or toxic talk shows? What about the confrontational radio? While these shows can be entertaining, if they are not broken up with something light and soft, they can be feeding you negative images that manifest themselves in unstable sleep patterns, tenseness in your neck and joints, and sarcastic comments and you aren't even aware of it.

For one week, do not watch the high drama shows or listen to the confrontational radio. JUST ONE WEEK. Notice the difference in your body and your sleep. Make note of it in your journal.

Now let's take a closer look at your negative images and the negative things you frequently tell yourself. For every comment that pops in your head or you hear yourself say, ask yourself the following questions…………….

Is this really true?
Would it be ok if someone else said this to me?
Does this kind of talk honor me?

Some examples of positive self talk that you can practice are speaking in the present tense, e.g., I am healthy, I am well, I am happy, and I have a good job. Also speaking as if the condition already exists, i.e., I do, I am, or I have.

So let's start changing our habit - one nice word at a time.

MONDAY - WEDNESDAY - Start with a journal of your self talk. You can't address an issue until you identify it. Over the next few days, let's become aware of our behavior. Whenever you say or even think something negative or critical of yourself or someone else, write it in your journal. Make two columns on a page in your journal. In one column write your negative thought and then your positive thought in the other column.

THURSDAY - Now you should have a significant list of positive rebuttals to all of your negative self talk. Today, for each positive rebuttal, put some real meaning behind it. List 3 to 5 things that validate the positive rebuttal. for example, if you say, I do things well then list some things that you do well, like cook lasagna, play monopoly, decorate, etc., be specific. The objective to this exercise is to get you really seeing the great things about yourself and steering the focus off of the negative.

FRIDAY - Awareness brings clarity. CONGRATULATIONS! You are now aware of your behavior and well on your way to changing it. But it takes practice. Continue to practice your positive self talk everyday. You may even want to write a positive self affirmation. Over time, you will see that as you put this behavior into practice, the way you speak to others will also be more positive and empowering instead of negative and critical.

So......for all your hard work, today is TREAT DAY! Be good to you today. You've done excellent work. Enjoy the rest of your day and have a great weekend.

Quote of the Week - Whether you think you can or whether you think you can't, you're right. Henry Ford

Have A Great Week!